Wall Flower

She's measured by some invisible tape and often found wanting. She works hard to be loved but she isn't. It's not that she's bad. It's not that she's a terrible person, she can't help being the invisible one.

Her sister, so gregarious. So free with life. So charming. So funny. She wants so badly to be like her. To have the light of love shine warmly upon her face. Will that ever happen? Should she be content to stand on the outskirts of her sisters aura?

Time passes and she learns to live with the shadows. Learning reluctant acceptance of how things are. Swallowing bitterness and envy, falling victim to being a victim. The days blend into one continuous movement of rote actions empty of purpose or life. Her heart empty of song, her smile void of warmth.

She is lost and doesn't even know it.

Tired of hiding, tired of being unseen. She finally decides to step forward into the light.

That first step out, blinding by its harsh neon glow and stark realisation she's no longer protected by the shadows. She is reminded of standing because her legs shake hard enough to threaten to give way. But, stand she does, even if on shakely legs, on her own and without comparison to shape her in the eyes of others. She must make herself known.

Fear grips her. She's been in the shadows for so long. Her skin paled and vulnerable to strikes. Only now does she see what her sister had to deal with. The image of self thats projected, the responsibility of being who you are and accepting that not all will like it. Only now does she see through her sisters eyes. Stand in her sisters shoes. Only now does she see.

In stark brightness she takes another look at her sister. Did her smile ever reach her eyes? Was that smile a shield? Her own form of protection in such harsh light? Her laughter yet another layer of protection? Is that what she'd envied all this time?

Realization dawns, her sister as human as she, as frail as she, the same..as she. She takes comfort that at least she is not alone and strength in knowing they can now finally understand the other.

The beginning of true confidence begins. The journey of self opening before her. She looks downward, her foot a step ahead. Her first step. Her first of many.