Embarrased Much?

As I sat at the lunch table today and I started discussing 'embarrassment' and how women react to embarrassing moments. Take for instance, using a public bathroom (I think of the hub on the bathroom conspiracy as I write this).

I asked the ladies 'alright ladies, how embarrassed do you get over things?How many of you hold on and wait for the bathroom to be empty before you do your business. Or in the event that you just can't wait, lean over to the side so that the sounds of pee'ing are silenced against the the porclein bowl? After laying out my question the women laughed and some nodded in agreement but 3 of the women looked at me and said. 'you just put the paper down first that silences everything!'. Binking, I said 'where were you when I was potty training!' The comment 'I thought it was blatently obvious' flew at me which I promptly replied, 'oh how often do I have to explain that blatently obvious stuff has to be explained to me!'

Of course as discussions go, ours progressed to the next step of farting in public. I queried, 'How many of you suffer stomach cramps and piles from crunching down on those lower muscles when they've had one too many chili dogs?' Again came the laughter and one said 'well I have to admit I do crunch down, I'd just die if someone heard me fart.' while a few others nodded in acquiensence. Another who is currently taking heart pills and water pills that have the effect of increased flatulence merely quipped 'honey, you get to the point that fart so much you just don't care anymore'

I smiled and then posed, 'men don't seem to have this embarrassment though, ever notice that?' ladies all nodded in agreement.

I had to wonder.. what is the difference?

Okay, come on men. Dish. What is your secret? Why is it you just don't care about the trivial things like how loud your poop sounds as it hits the water in the bowl. Why is it you have a sense of pride in how loud you can fart or belch.

Is it just because your men? Is it in your genes? Is there a training manual out there that explains just how loud and how long your farts should be. Or that when diving bombing in a public facility you can even go so far as making those weird little airplane diving bombing sounds (its kinda weird that.. but I've heard rumours of it happening)

So, I came away from lunch thinking about embarrassment and how we women suffer from it more than men.

I always thought men had it better off than us. I mean, really - they get to dive bomb freely, they can fart, belch, scratch themselves in public. They get the nicest smelling stuff, the coolest looking clothes and don't have to worry about shaving 3/4's of their bodily hair off daily.

We women die if there's hair above our lips, too much on our brows, on our chins, under our arms and on our legs. We'd be mortified if we farted in public, we cringe in making 'plopping' noises in the public loo's, we gasp if our hair is out of place or our make up has faded.

Are we women embarrassed much? Personally I think way too much! Maybe we should take a page from the men's manual. But then, would that make us less 'womanly'? I don't know.. I don't know..

What I do know is that I'm getting too old to be concerned if the woman in the next stall can hear me or if I let one rip in public. No doubt my ears will go red and my cheeks will flush, but I'll be less concerned about it than I used to be. I guess thats all a gal like me can ask for.